Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
