I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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