Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
