Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
