Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
