So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
