I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
