What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
