dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Congratulations! We have a period
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
