The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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