She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
either way he was missing a nipple.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
