another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
