Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Found the puke drawer
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
