What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
