STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
being pregnant is like rehab
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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