it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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