I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
