So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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