Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
