So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
