YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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