well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
