Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
