I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I wish you could order shots online.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
