Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
