I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
there is puke in my bra ... again
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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