btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
God, I missed his penis.
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