You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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