Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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