Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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