Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
