it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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