Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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