i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
