am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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