Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
