i just had sex bonerless
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
