did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
