do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
