my phone needs a breathalizer
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
