If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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