Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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