I'm really into asian looking animals
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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