oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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