So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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