they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
