So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You ate ashes out of my bong
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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