I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
