i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
