Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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