More tranny stories later!
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
