I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
When are your genitals available?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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