Me. At least after what I've been through.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
