marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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